That Stupid Pancreas!

You're put on a roller coaster. Strapped in place by a seat belt that is so tight, you can't wriggle out of it, though not for lack of trying. I don't like roller coasters , you think. I didn't ask to go on this ride. Confused, you look around for the ride operator. Where are they?  Nobody is around. You are alone. A commanding voice booms out of nowhere that the ride is about to start. Are you ready? No , you think. I'm not . Ready or not, it announces, here we go. The ride begins. Slowly at first, for maybe a few seconds, and you wonder what you've gotten yourself into. Even though, as far as you know, you didn't do anything to get into this in the first place. Then, in a moment that barely lasts long enough for you to take a breath and brace yourself, it speeds up. The first time you go around the track, you don't know what to expect. The unknown terrain ahead that you are being forced to speed through is terrifying. The loops, the climbs, the sudden ...

The last five years of my life with type one diabetes have felt like one major juxtaposition. I have felt both invisible and like the center of attention; I have felt like I am both on top of the world and carrying its weight on my shoulders; I have felt both alone and like I am part of something bigger than myself; I have felt both hopeless and hopeful; I have felt both helpless and like I am a human wrecking ball; I have felt both like a blazing fire that is getting brighter, and like one that is burning out. I look back to the person I was before my diagnosis, and I do not recognize her. I have said many times that diabetes does not define me, but it really does. It dictates everything I can do, how far I can go, and how I can get there. Multiple diagnoses I have received in the last five years have put me through so many metamorphoses and forced me to shed so many layers of skin I thought I would be able to wear forever, and each rebirth has put me through pressure and self-doubt...

Dear Newly-Diagnosed Type One...   When I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, lots of crazy things were happening all at once. I was meeting lots of doctors, learning about lots of concepts and terms that I didn't understand, and everything felt like it was changing all at once. It was overwhelming, to say the least. But I've found out since that day that I'm quite resilient, and you probably are, too! I've had type one diabetes for four years now, and it's a part of my normal. I'm used to rocking cool devices with my outfits (I use a super helpful insulin pump and continuous glucose monitor to make my diabetes management easier!), I know all the lingo, and I've grown a lot. It seems like a lot right now, I know. And it is a lot. But with some time, you will get used to it, and it won't seem like such a huge scary thing anymore. Unpleasant at times perhaps, but totally something you can handle. And I still do all the things I used to do before I was di...

   Okay so I am super glad that the topic of this post is the one that I had already planned on for this week, because the past couple of weeks have been an adventure of sorts and are the perfect example of my main points for this topic. Even if I had been planning a different kind of post for this week, I would've had to abandon it to write about the past few weeks instead, because the past few weeks have been, as I previously stated... (*deep calming breath*) an adventure. So let's get into it, shall we? We've got a lot to talk about!    This is part four of House of Cards: A Series, and we're talking about being careful with the amount of pressure you're putting on yourself (like how you'd be careful adding weight to a house of cards to avoid sending it crashing down). And what are the main points that my last few weeks exemplify so very well? Well, they all kind of boil down to one point, which is this:    LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES. LIKE, SERIOUSLY.  ...

   This is me and Alex, my cat (or, before my brothers freak out, I should say, my FAMILY'S cat). You've seen pictures of her on the blog before, I'm sure. There's also a tiny Canadian flag in the background, some post cards on the wall that my grandmother gave me (Hi, Grandma! Now you're famous! Well, sort of.), and a yellow board of birthday messages that my friends gave me way back in February 2020 before this whole COVID mess really started impacting life in Canada! (*sigh* those were the days...)    Why are you looking at this picture right now? Because when you think about it, it actually segues well into what I wanted to talk about for this post! This picture only shows a small part of one corner of my room, and even that small part only exists as it does now because lots of different people contributed to it! My grandmother gave me the post cards (and the Canadian flag too, actually), my friends (hi guys!) gave me my birthday board, and Alex provided... well...

   Welcome to Part 2 of House of Cards: A Series! In this post I'm going to share what a strong base is to me, diabetes-wise. Please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional in any way, shape, or form, and do not claim to be one, nor do I suggest that any type ones reading this make any changes to their diabetes management plan solely based on something I say. Talk to your doctor if you have any concerns about your management plan and want to make drastic changes. Every type one has their own experiences and feelings related to diabetes and managing it, so I can only speak to mine, but hopefully someone out there in Internet Land finds this helpful or relatable.     A strong base to me is something that you can trust to be stable and strong, and something that you can build on. What does this mean in the context of diabetes?    Something that you can always build on is knowledge. The more you know about diabetes management, the easier it i...

       Diabetes is very complicated.      I mean like, diabetes as a disease is realistically pretty simple if you ignore the fact that we don't know exactly what causes it - immune system attack on beta cells = no beta cells = no insulin = type one diabetic - but managing type one while also:      - working/completing school      - trying to have a healthy lifestyle (exercising and sleeping enough)      - managing family relationships and friendships and possibly a relationship with a significant other      - participating in extracurricular activities      - having quiet time to relax and take care of yourself can be quite difficult and overwhelming! These other important things must be scheduled around type one, and even when they are, type one can easily disrupt them. School, relationships, and mental health are supposed to be priorities. And usually, they are. In normal cir...

The term "self-care" means something different to everybody, but it all comes down to basically the same thing - taking care of yourself. Self-care can mean something different depending on the situation. Taking care of yourself will look different for a low blood sugar than it will for a high blood sugar. Taking care of yourself when you're stressed will look different than taking care of yourself when you're sad. Taking care of your mental health during a pandemic will look different than taking care of your mental health when life is more normal. But all of these situations would benefit from self-care. ( None of these quotes, pictures, or artwork are mine . They are screenshots of posts I found on  Pinterest that help explain what I'm trying to say. I do not claim them to be my own in any way .) Taking care of your mental health comes in many different forms. It can be so many different things, including but definitely not limited to:  - setting healthy bound...